Carefully, I have drawn the long
Stitches from between my
Swollen lips, feeling the tug of the
Sinews through each open wound
Startling to suddenly have a voice again
After such lasting, crushing silence –
But my throat feels dry like the smudge stick
I burn to clear this toxic air
Illuminate me, inner wisdom
As I free you from the confines of conformity
Break down the walls that once broke my spirit
So may it be, so may I be me
As a part of my recent Priestesshood vows, I made it a priority to begin creating again. Whatever that looks like, mind you: writing, painting, poetry, posting things to this blog. The medium doesn’t matter so much as the intent.
However, as I sat here this morning finding my mind blank and my hands still on the keyboard, I struggled to figure out what to write. What words do I even have to say right now? My mind is like a cluttered desk. There are little scraps of notes laying here and there, a pen leaking ink on an otherwise blank page shoved half under a stack of books, and an empty wrapper of some chocolate snack crumpled on top of the mouse pad. So much energy expended at this metaphorical desk – so many different chances for sparks of creativity that fizzled out because I didn’t reach out and grasp them.
I closed my eyes and asked Brigid what I should write about. It took a moment for the answer to come within the darkness behind my eyelids. Then, a single ironic word surfaced: Inspiration.
Creativity is something we all possess – whether it be the ability to build furniture, cook delicious meals, do visual arts, dance, perform or write music, plant herbs, crochet blankets, write stories, or something else. All of us has something we can find within that longs to be expressed outwardly… if only we look.
For some reason, many of us fear our own spirit of creation and avoid it altogether. The drive to do comes from fire energy, and maybe it is that we fear being burned. Or perhaps, others have doused our flames. Whatever the reason, when we fail to stoke this inner light, we dim to a husk of our potential. Our embers cool and we are left barely alive.
Yet, inspiration often looms right before us. It can be the blooming of a little blue flower against a sea of emerald grass. It can be a quote we see written in wall decals at the local gym. It can be the look in a loved one’s eyes as they smile at us. There is no limit to what can be inspiring, but again – we must look , but also reach out and grasp the spark.
I invite you to notice – really taking a moment to deeply reflect – what happens when you feel that moment of inspiration and you ignore it? Do you feel empowered? Do you feel joyous? Do you feel as though you are embracing the fullness of yourself?
Or, do you feel a chill that runs through you, stilling you, immobilizing you, and crushing your will?
What causes you to stop yourself from acting on your inspirations?
Now, it is important to note that some of us have more generally creative-type brains than others which can lead us to quite interesting behaviors when we follow the calling. This can look like waking up suddenly at 2AM with the beginning of an idea and needing to run to get a laptop or instrument. It can look like a cluttered table of colored scraps of cloth or leather as we pace impatiently off to the side. It can look like shutting out the entire world until a project has come to completion.
I am so grateful that my partner understands that for me, following a moment of inspiration might mean destroying the living room, my desk, the kitchen, or some other space as I follow the thread of thought. It can mean I go completely into myself and my task, ignoring all externally save emergencies. It can cause me to become silent and pensive until the process in my mind has run all the way through and every last drop of creativity is spent for that moment. I support this in her, too. If she wants to drop absolutely everything because a song comes to mind, I encourage her to not only quit whatever else, but to run. There is almost nothing better for our spirits than creating something that comes from within – or at least that’s what I believe.
If you are anything like me and you are partnered, it might be a good idea to talk to your partner(s) about your need to express your creativity when inspiration hits. If they support and cherish you, they will encourage this willingness to follow your own innovation. But, I’ve worked with people long enough and been in enough friendships and relationships to know that some people can take these bouts of imagination personally as if we do not wish to spend time with them or as if it is a distraction from them. If that relationship is indeed healthy, we should feel safe enough to create, especially after having conversations about what our own personal inventive drives look like. Taking that step to inform our partners we long to pursue our inspirations can invite even more space to that energy to flow, allowing us to follow our spark without complications.
We know we are truly free people when we know we are safe, supported, and encouraged to follow our inspiration wherever it leads us.
When you are allowed to follow whatever path your feet long to carry you on, then and only then are you free. Please be free. Be free from anything that would chain you down or diminish you. Be free from the limitations of yourself or others. You deserve to create by your will alone.
May you be inspired, and inspire others. May you be free.
Here are some questions to help you ponder your own inspiration:
- What have you been inspired to do recently that you have or have not followed?
- When you have felt inspiration, has there been any particular pattern to what you’ve longed to do?
- How do you feel when you do follow that pathway to creation?
- Are you a “creative brained” person with a knack for particular forms of creativity that come somewhat impulsively, or is your creativity more general and has room to be planned?
- Is there anyone in your life that you feel diminishes your ability to create or is unsupportive of your endeavors? If so, what keeps them in your life?
- If you could do one creative thing today, what would you do? Why don’t you?