On Anger

Invariably in our recovering process there comes a stage where anger settles in. It may be fleeting, as mine usually is, or it may last days. Our anger may be a quick outburst where we feel the need to destroy something, or a boiling rage that simmers for days until cooling. Whatever form our anger comes in, there are a few important things we must remember.

1) Anger is a natural response. Everyone gets angry. I used to have serious struggles with anger because I do not like when other people get angry. This comes from childhood trauma and understanding that has allowed me to accept anger as a natural part of the human experience.

2) Our anger should not be used in a negative way, but rather should be used as a catalyst for healing. If our anger causes us to hurt others or ourselves, it is not being used in a proper way. It can be very hard to find any positive energy when you are mad, but there are plenty of ways to vent the feelings without causing more pain. You need to analyze why you are mad and figure out what you can do to make the anger go away. If the source of the anger is another person, release that person from your life if it is an ongoing problem, or, calm yourself and have a discussion on how to make things better. If the source is instead something intangible such as a concept, write it out, talk to someone about it, or do whatever you can to fix it (ie. if politics enrage you, send some letters, peacefully protest, etc). Take charge, but remember to use your anger in a positive and uplifting way.

3) Violence is not the answer. I cannot tell you how many people I have met whose first response when angry is to punch something (or someone). What does this achieve other than pain? If you must punch something, try a cushion or a pillow. Scream it out. Write it out. Talk to a friend. Create art or poetry. Go running.

There is a lot of energy available to us from anger. You can feel it. Think about the shaking, overwhelming level of energy that surges inside you when you get truly angry. Now, think about re-purposing this to make good things happen. It can be quite powerful.

Try this: Channel your anger into an object, thinking about transmuting that anger into its base energy form. Purify the anger as you allow it to seep through your hands. You might want to visualize that your hands have cheese cloth or some type of straining material over them, and that the anger is “too big” to fit through the tiny holes – so you must work it out. Like a mortar full of pieces of your anger, imagine crushing it down to a fine powder with a pestle, transforming it in the process. It is important that you do not think of it as anger any longer, but rather merely as energy. Remember – everything is made of energy.

Now you can take that object and draw energy and strength from it. The next time you get angry, seek the positive support of that object. Know that you CAN transform your anger into good energy. Every time you do it, it will become easier until you can quickly cool your anger and transform it, and yourself.


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